I have never considered myself an Oprah fan...not until season 24. When my bestie, Katie, told me she had the 20th anniversary DVD set..I knew I had to watch the entire thing. And I did. In 24 hours. Yes, I have no life. While watching all six of those DVDs I've never cried so much or had so many "a-ha moments."
I don't consider myself old and wise (hell...I just turned 25!) but I'm not young and naive either. I do know a thing or two though. Oprah often asks "what do you know for sure?" I know for sure who my real friends are. There's a difference between an acquaintance and a friend...but there is a huge difference between a friend and a real friend.
I am tired of saying to myself "well...I guess I know who my real friends are." It always happens when "friends" do something that disappoints me or angers me. Fake friends are the worst.
A toxic friend is someone who constantly sends bad vibes. They treat you like shit. I once had a friend (from third grade through senior year of COLLEGE!) who treated me awful. We used the term "best friends" but I honestly didn't consider her my best friend for a long time...our friendship had become habit. She put down me down because of my college and a lot of my beliefs and opinions. I caught her talking shit about me before I got married, that's when I decided to cut all ties. I called her out on it, but for some reason she was shocked when she wasn't invited to the wedding.
Another awful friend was also the reason why I moved to North Carolina in the first place. I think she wanted me to be her bitch. But when I came to North Carolina with my own plans and soon made my own friends...she became cold and angry. And told me (in a nutshell) that Danny was the worst decision of my life. I remember after Danny proposed she actually pretended that she was happy for me. The fakeness of it was awful. A month later I moved myself out of that house (and paid a huge amount of money to pretty much end our friendship) and have never regretted any part of it.
Once again I have found toxic friends. And I'm sure all of you have a friend like this. I hate hate hate people who have a friend and then talk nothing but shit about them. You know that they are doing the same exact thing to you. I know that when you are complaining about someone, you want my reaction....only to go tell that person how awful I am. And-I-am-sick-of-it.
I never thought 19-20-21 was young. But looking back to my college years...I was young. I know I did the same things. But now that I am just a little older..I don't want those people in my life. I can honestly say I have one friend from my hometown. Two of my closest friends are from college. And I have a handful of girls down here that I consider real friends. And let me just put it this way..I am so thankful that I have my own friends...Danny's co-workers and their wives having totally irritated me in the past few months and weeks. And I am just realizing how young they really are.
I have decided to eliminate all of the toxic energy out of my life. It is exhausting. I have aired more "dirty laundry" on this blog in the past week...I hate showing that I'm mad/angry/hurt/sad but it makes me feel better to write about it. But the good news is...since I'm eliminating toxic energy you'll only be getting happy posts from now on!
Showing posts with label "friends". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "friends". Show all posts
A Word About Friends...
Most of my readers don't live in their hometowns, so I'm writing to ask if you have had this problem.
I have great friends at home. I can count my good and real friends on one hand. I have found since I got married and moved, that some "friends" have different attitudes and roles in my life. One girl, who I did consider a good friend, has become really short with me. When I first moved to North Carolina she would text me all the time. Anytime I visited home, we would hangout. Then she would text me about how I "should" be home and that I'm missing out on things. Then her sister started in on it. I'm sorry, I'm not coming home just so I can be at a bar every weekend. It's not that simple and easy. She stopped texting me, accused me of not staying in touch (which is a little true, I was sick of being reminded about what I was missing out on) and snaps at me whenever I DO text her.
Danny has had some friend problems too. And I do blame myself. We used to be really close to one of Danny's friends, until he got engaged. I spent a week with his fiance at a hotel. We spent all day together. At night, silly me assumed we would hangout with our guys. She never asked/implied that we should all hangout. This was in January. Fast forward a few months later, they get married and now she is living in Jacksonville. We never hear from his friend. Yesterday they talked about it. He isn't allowed to talk or hangout with Danny because we didn't hangout with them that week at the hotel. SERIOUSLY?!
Over the weekend we went bowling with a great group of people. I even told Danny that I love our group of friends. The people I consider myself closest to, I don't even talk to all the time. But I know it's not because we are mad at each other, we just have that great of a friendship that we can pick up wherever we left off. Even more strange...I consider my bloggy friends great friends. Am I living in a fantasy world?!
Has anyone else found that since you have moved, married, had a big change in your life....that friends have treated you differently?
I have great friends at home. I can count my good and real friends on one hand. I have found since I got married and moved, that some "friends" have different attitudes and roles in my life. One girl, who I did consider a good friend, has become really short with me. When I first moved to North Carolina she would text me all the time. Anytime I visited home, we would hangout. Then she would text me about how I "should" be home and that I'm missing out on things. Then her sister started in on it. I'm sorry, I'm not coming home just so I can be at a bar every weekend. It's not that simple and easy. She stopped texting me, accused me of not staying in touch (which is a little true, I was sick of being reminded about what I was missing out on) and snaps at me whenever I DO text her.
Danny has had some friend problems too. And I do blame myself. We used to be really close to one of Danny's friends, until he got engaged. I spent a week with his fiance at a hotel. We spent all day together. At night, silly me assumed we would hangout with our guys. She never asked/implied that we should all hangout. This was in January. Fast forward a few months later, they get married and now she is living in Jacksonville. We never hear from his friend. Yesterday they talked about it. He isn't allowed to talk or hangout with Danny because we didn't hangout with them that week at the hotel. SERIOUSLY?!
Over the weekend we went bowling with a great group of people. I even told Danny that I love our group of friends. The people I consider myself closest to, I don't even talk to all the time. But I know it's not because we are mad at each other, we just have that great of a friendship that we can pick up wherever we left off. Even more strange...I consider my bloggy friends great friends. Am I living in a fantasy world?!
Has anyone else found that since you have moved, married, had a big change in your life....that friends have treated you differently?
RANT.
I like to tell people I don’t care what other people think about me. As long as I don’t know what they are saying to other people, I really don’t care. But when you find out the truth..it hurts. A lot.
I recently found out how mybest friend really feels. First lets start with this, I haven’t refered to her as my best friend in a looooong time. But whenever she IMs me it starts with HI BEST FRIEND. Don’t lie to me. I’m sick of being lied to. Don’t talk to me when you have a “good” story to tell me, and then ignore me when I have something to tell you.
Moving on.
She IMed me today to ask about wedding, proposal details, all that jazz. I had a feeling she was up to something. My feeling was confirmed when I checked with my sources. I’d like to clear things up. I AM NOT PREGNANT. Don’t ask me if your invited and then ask the other person if your obliged to go. Fact is, you weren’t even on my “maybe” list. Don’t make fun of me for not driving, and then when I tell you my plans, don’t call me spoiled for BUYING my mothers car. And PLEASE don’t talk shit about Danny being in the Marines? What do you do for work…oh that’s right, you enter data for the college you went to in order to pay off your loans. And you know what? I do have GOALS and ASPIRATIONS. You don’t know shit about me and you haven’t for a LONG time.
Endrant.
I recently found out how my
Moving on.
She IMed me today to ask about wedding, proposal details, all that jazz. I had a feeling she was up to something. My feeling was confirmed when I checked with my sources. I’d like to clear things up. I AM NOT PREGNANT. Don’t ask me if your invited and then ask the other person if your obliged to go. Fact is, you weren’t even on my “maybe” list. Don’t make fun of me for not driving, and then when I tell you my plans, don’t call me spoiled for BUYING my mothers car. And PLEASE don’t talk shit about Danny being in the Marines? What do you do for work…oh that’s right, you enter data for the college you went to in order to pay off your loans. And you know what? I do have GOALS and ASPIRATIONS. You don’t know shit about me and you haven’t for a LONG time.
Endrant.
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