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I've been telling the story of how C and I met through Annoyed Army Wife's Sunday Stories link-up. This is the third installment. It might be helpful to read the first and second posts in this series, but it's not necessary.
Our first summer as a couple was interesting. We had just started "officially" dating during finals week - about one-ish weeks before the start of summer vacation. We weren't sure what was going to happen to our relationship. C was staying in Alabama for the summer, and I was returning home to New Mexico to work before I went and spent the 2005-2006 school year studying abroad in Russia. While we weren't sure what was going to happen to our relationship, we kept calling each other. And emailing. And AIMing. Before I knew it, we were flying halfway across the country each month on (what I like to call) expensive booty calls. What? Don't judge! As military significant others, I know you've flown/driven/swam/walked across the country to see your man. I also know you didn't spend your time sightseeing!
I knew within a month of long-distance dating that C was the one I was going to marry, and by the end of the summer, we had confirmed that to each other.
But, now, we had the little problem of Russia to deal with. At no point did I ever consider canceling my trip to Russia, but I did wonder if our relationship would survive it. I wondered how were we going to communicate. Letters? Email? Pigeons? I wondered if it would be too much and he would forget about me. I wondered if I was worth it. I wondered how I was going to balance school, culture shock, and this new relationship. I was crazy with worry.
Unfortunately, most of my fears came true. I suffered from severe culture shock. I had a terrible home stay experience. My host family treated me like a business arrangement and didn't speak or interact with me. They fed me food from the "expired foods" section of the grocery store because it was cheaper for them, and they got to pocket any money they didn't use to feed/house me. I came home from a weekend trip to Estonia to an orgy going on in the living room and $200 missing from my room. Awesome. Definitely "Host Family of the Year" material! I was also the worst person in my class in terms of academics. This may not sound like a big deal, but up to that point, I had always been numero uno in all my academic pursuits. To say it was humbling would be putting it too mildly. In short, I was miserable to the point that I cut my study abroad trip in half. I only lasted one semester.
The light throughout this entire experience was C. He and I chatted via IM pretty much every day. He was my escape from the reality that surrounded me. He kept me grounded and motivated.
Looking back on all of it, I realized that my study abroad trip to Russia was the best thing that could have ever happened to our relationship. I firmly believe that the forced long-distance communication in our early days set us up for success as a military family. We learned early on that we could handle a long-distance relationship, and we learned we had excellent communication skills! Go, us! *high five*
I also feel my experience gave me an appreciation for C's job. I know that deployment/field time and studying abroad are a bit different, but there are some similarities. Being away from everything you know. Being unable to have access to the comforts of home. Being forced to perform your best while dealing with the loneliness and/or culture shock, and looking forward to that one portion of your day when all the "bad" things go away because you get to talk to your significant other.
So, this all got me to thinking...is being the military spouse truly the "hardest job in the military"?
I hear all the time that being a military spouse is the hardest job in the Army. In fact, I got that pep talk at an event last Tuesday. I read a post on another military spouse's blog a few weeks ago about how being the spouse that stays behind is the hardest job in the military. (Sorry, I can't remember which blog it was...) I believe the poster asked her husband if he could do the job of a military spouse. He unequivocally said no. A lot of us chimed in to say that our spouses would agree that they couldn't do our jobs.
Well, I don't know about you, but I couldn't do my husband's job either. I may be here dealing with things on my own, and "Murphy's Law" might be in full swing, but I'd rather be in my own bed, have access to my own car, and be eating my own food than getting shot at in a shitty third-world country. Having been through numerous separations and a full deployment, I can think of numerous other things I would rather deal with than being a target for terrorists. But, that's just my personal opinion.
Sometimes I think that touting the military spouse's job as the "hardest job in the military" is just a form of propaganda (minus the cool WW2 style posters). It keeps us motivated so that we continue holding down the home front. I always wonder if, secretly, other military occupations are told the same thing to keep them motivated? Hmmmm....
Anyway, do you think being a spouse is the hardest job in the military? Why or why not? What is the hardest job in the military? Is there one?
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Summer 2005Our first summer as a couple was interesting. We had just started "officially" dating during finals week - about one-ish weeks before the start of summer vacation. We weren't sure what was going to happen to our relationship. C was staying in Alabama for the summer, and I was returning home to New Mexico to work before I went and spent the 2005-2006 school year studying abroad in Russia. While we weren't sure what was going to happen to our relationship, we kept calling each other. And emailing. And AIMing. Before I knew it, we were flying halfway across the country each month on (what I like to call) expensive booty calls. What? Don't judge! As military significant others, I know you've flown/driven/swam/walked across the country to see your man. I also know you didn't spend your time sightseeing!
I knew within a month of long-distance dating that C was the one I was going to marry, and by the end of the summer, we had confirmed that to each other.
But, now, we had the little problem of Russia to deal with. At no point did I ever consider canceling my trip to Russia, but I did wonder if our relationship would survive it. I wondered how were we going to communicate. Letters? Email? Pigeons? I wondered if it would be too much and he would forget about me. I wondered if I was worth it. I wondered how I was going to balance school, culture shock, and this new relationship. I was crazy with worry.
Unfortunately, most of my fears came true. I suffered from severe culture shock. I had a terrible home stay experience. My host family treated me like a business arrangement and didn't speak or interact with me. They fed me food from the "expired foods" section of the grocery store because it was cheaper for them, and they got to pocket any money they didn't use to feed/house me. I came home from a weekend trip to Estonia to an orgy going on in the living room and $200 missing from my room. Awesome. Definitely "Host Family of the Year" material! I was also the worst person in my class in terms of academics. This may not sound like a big deal, but up to that point, I had always been numero uno in all my academic pursuits. To say it was humbling would be putting it too mildly. In short, I was miserable to the point that I cut my study abroad trip in half. I only lasted one semester.
The light throughout this entire experience was C. He and I chatted via IM pretty much every day. He was my escape from the reality that surrounded me. He kept me grounded and motivated.
Looking back on all of it, I realized that my study abroad trip to Russia was the best thing that could have ever happened to our relationship. I firmly believe that the forced long-distance communication in our early days set us up for success as a military family. We learned early on that we could handle a long-distance relationship, and we learned we had excellent communication skills! Go, us! *high five*
I also feel my experience gave me an appreciation for C's job. I know that deployment/field time and studying abroad are a bit different, but there are some similarities. Being away from everything you know. Being unable to have access to the comforts of home. Being forced to perform your best while dealing with the loneliness and/or culture shock, and looking forward to that one portion of your day when all the "bad" things go away because you get to talk to your significant other.
So, this all got me to thinking...is being the military spouse truly the "hardest job in the military"?
I hear all the time that being a military spouse is the hardest job in the Army. In fact, I got that pep talk at an event last Tuesday. I read a post on another military spouse's blog a few weeks ago about how being the spouse that stays behind is the hardest job in the military. (Sorry, I can't remember which blog it was...) I believe the poster asked her husband if he could do the job of a military spouse. He unequivocally said no. A lot of us chimed in to say that our spouses would agree that they couldn't do our jobs.
Well, I don't know about you, but I couldn't do my husband's job either. I may be here dealing with things on my own, and "Murphy's Law" might be in full swing, but I'd rather be in my own bed, have access to my own car, and be eating my own food than getting shot at in a shitty third-world country. Having been through numerous separations and a full deployment, I can think of numerous other things I would rather deal with than being a target for terrorists. But, that's just my personal opinion.
Sometimes I think that touting the military spouse's job as the "hardest job in the military" is just a form of propaganda (minus the cool WW2 style posters). It keeps us motivated so that we continue holding down the home front. I always wonder if, secretly, other military occupations are told the same thing to keep them motivated? Hmmmm....
Anyway, do you think being a spouse is the hardest job in the military? Why or why not? What is the hardest job in the military? Is there one?
