A couple of weeks ago it was storming in Texas. And I was driving. Now let me explain really quick, due to a controlling ex-husband, I just got my license last year. On my birthday. Which is in August. So I've had my license less than one year. And as a new driver, I'm terrified of driving in the rain. And this wasn't just rain, this was a torrential downpour, to the extent that I could barely see the road, but I was equally terrified to just pull over, for fear someone else would try to pull over and not see me there.
As I sat in my car, with my radio cranked up in hopes that music would inspire bravery (it didn't), it amused me to realize that if someone else had been driving I wouldn't have been worried at all. If I'm not the one driving, I have every belief that we'll arrive safely. I have faith that my driver will get us there.
That's when I realized that our lives should be like that, but instead we have it backwards. We feel far more comfortable taking things into our own hands, rather than surrendering to the will of God. As a military wife, it's so easy to sit and stress about everything. Will he have to deploy again? Where will he deploy? Will it make it home safely? What happens if he never makes it home?
But I don't just stress about the military stuff either. Will we have enough money for our bills? What happens if something breaks down? Am I a good Mom? Am I a good wife? Did he really like dinner. We think it's so much easier to have control, and we're terrified to let go. But is it really easier? Is it easier to panic at every phone call? Every knock on the door? Is it easier to sit and think of all the reasons why something might now work out? How is it affecting our sleep? Are we even getting any sleep?
All the worrying in the world won't actually change the course of events. And in the course of worrying about the future, we fail to fully live in the present. So give your present, your future, and even your past, to the only one who really knows what's going on.
You can find Spitfire over at her blog One Step Journeys
